written a couple weeks ago:
Growth can be painful. It is so good, but it can be painful. Especially when you are trying to overcome challenges of your own making. Student teaching is causing me to grow in rather painful ways. I am being smelted. I believe that somewhere inside me is a pure noble teacher, but I've got all this carbon and sulfur that needs to be roasted out. Trouble is, I thought that I'd get roasted once, and then all the impurities would be gone. No, not everything was burned out the first time. I require multiple treatments. Perhaps one day I'll be all de-impurified.
written today:
I'm almost done with student teaching. I have one week left. I'm so glad I've had this experience. It has been really hard, but I think I'm better for it. I don't understand all the reasons why it's been so difficult. I think I'll need more distance and then I'll be able to look back and see more purpose in the challenges. But I am very grateful for it all.
The thing I'll miss the most is being with the kids. I never realized just how much I would grow to love these kids. So often I hear teachers and others only talking about how challenging middle schoolers are. Why didn't anyone tell me how loving they are? Or how eager they are to please? Or how excited they get when your husband comes to visit and hand after hand shoots up in the air asking him about his favorite teams and colors, and how we met, and is he on Team Peeta or Team Gale, and on and on and on. No one told me that on days when I thought I was just the most boring teacher alive, that one of the kids would say, while running out the door, "Thanks for being the best teacher ever!" Or on the days when the kids were rowdy and nothing I did seemed to calm them down, they would come up to me after class and say, "Mrs. Machado, I'm sorry we were so rough on you today."
I certainly will miss Cathy Jolley. She has been the best cooperating teacher a girl could ever ask for. Sometime I'll have to devote a post to her and all she's done for me. But for today, I'm just so grateful for the kids. The kids who love to see you and hear your stories and come to you when they have questions; them I will miss the most. Those kids will likely have lots of student teachers in the coming years who are better at teaching than I am, but they'll be hard pressed to find one who loves them more than I do.
Growth can be painful. It is so good, but it can be painful. Especially when you are trying to overcome challenges of your own making. Student teaching is causing me to grow in rather painful ways. I am being smelted. I believe that somewhere inside me is a pure noble teacher, but I've got all this carbon and sulfur that needs to be roasted out. Trouble is, I thought that I'd get roasted once, and then all the impurities would be gone. No, not everything was burned out the first time. I require multiple treatments. Perhaps one day I'll be all de-impurified.
written today:
I'm almost done with student teaching. I have one week left. I'm so glad I've had this experience. It has been really hard, but I think I'm better for it. I don't understand all the reasons why it's been so difficult. I think I'll need more distance and then I'll be able to look back and see more purpose in the challenges. But I am very grateful for it all.
The thing I'll miss the most is being with the kids. I never realized just how much I would grow to love these kids. So often I hear teachers and others only talking about how challenging middle schoolers are. Why didn't anyone tell me how loving they are? Or how eager they are to please? Or how excited they get when your husband comes to visit and hand after hand shoots up in the air asking him about his favorite teams and colors, and how we met, and is he on Team Peeta or Team Gale, and on and on and on. No one told me that on days when I thought I was just the most boring teacher alive, that one of the kids would say, while running out the door, "Thanks for being the best teacher ever!" Or on the days when the kids were rowdy and nothing I did seemed to calm them down, they would come up to me after class and say, "Mrs. Machado, I'm sorry we were so rough on you today."
I certainly will miss Cathy Jolley. She has been the best cooperating teacher a girl could ever ask for. Sometime I'll have to devote a post to her and all she's done for me. But for today, I'm just so grateful for the kids. The kids who love to see you and hear your stories and come to you when they have questions; them I will miss the most. Those kids will likely have lots of student teachers in the coming years who are better at teaching than I am, but they'll be hard pressed to find one who loves them more than I do.
Oh thank you for sharing Sarah! It's good to hear someone else things that are good are hard! And I know for a fact there is a noble teacher in you. : ) Congratulations for getting through student teaching! Those were really touching memories you shared of the kids.
ReplyDeleteAwww. That made my heart happy to read! You have always loved with a pure heart.
ReplyDeleteI remember, when you were little and people would rave, not just about how cute you were, but how sweet you looked and I would always say, "She just as sweet as she looks". There has always been a beautiful innocence and sense of trust about you.
When you get here in April I want to hear all the good the bad and the ugly about student teaching. CANNOT wait!