Until tomorrow

Dear Little One,

Tomorrow, if all goes well, you will come into this world. I'm so looking forward to seeing you and holding you. Smelling your baby smell, hearing your baby noises, seeing your squashy cheeks. Ahh.... some of the sweetest moments of motherhood.

You are baby number three in our family. I was also baby number three, as was your Grandpa Dean. I had two older brothers who, when I was born, were almost the exact ages that Nathan and Eva are right now. You have some powerhouse siblings. Your brother loves telling jokes, making Eva giggle, learning about cars and anything that goes, imagining he's a deep-sea explorer, and giving hugs and kind words at just the right moment. Your sister loves to snuggle soft toys, especially her bunny, and say "Awww!" while she give them a hug. She loves singing and joins in on the last word of each phrase of the songs she knows. She's starting to understand that other people have wants and needs and she loves asking about them. Like today when she asked if my crackers were all gone, and then asked, "Mommy, more crackers?" wondering if I wanted more. Oh, and of course she loves food. It's probably her true passion.

Though Eva is a little too young to understand that you're coming, Nathaniel understands quite well, and he can't wait. You should have seen the look on his face when I told him that tomorrow, Daddy and I would be going to the hospital where the doctor would help you be born. He ran right over to Grandma Kimi and excitedly told her the good news, which of course, she already knew!

This pregnancy has gone by so slowly and so quickly all at once. I think about you every day, and I feel a calm assurance that you're coming to our family and coming at this time by design. This pregnancy has been hard on me, and yet, I feel so deeply that you are worth all I've been through and overflowingly more.

I wanted you before I even new you were coming. A week or two before I found out I was pregnant with you, I attended a conference all about families in Salt Lake City. I thought so much about my own family and felt such gratitude for the shape our family had already taken. And I was already looking forward to the day when we'd have another child in our home. Wouldn't it be fun, I thought, if I was pregnant with that baby right now? Well, it turns out, I was pregnant with you. Right then. I just didn't know it.

And tomorrow morning, at 6am, we're to be at the hospital where they'll start the induction process. And then a few or many hours later, I hope to be holding you in my very own arms and kissing your very little cheeks.

Until tomorrow, then. I'll see you soon.

Love,
Momma

Wonder Struck

I want to remember this phase. There is such beauty, it almost melts me.

I am a home-body. I love being at home. I could stay in the house all day for even a couple of days and not miss going out. And I get to spend my days with my two small children.

Nathan says the most hilarious things. Today he said brightly while riding in the car, "Oops. I left my ear. I will pick it up." He loves to joke and tease you. Especially saying things the way he knows they aren't just to hear my reaction. Nathan loves to read too. He laughed a full belly laugh the other day when we read a book about a cat looking for his purr who was startled by a cuckoo clock. He brings me a book every day and says, "Mommy, read it, Please!" in his sing-song way. And anything that goes (trains, big-rigs, dump trucks, planes, cars, motorcycles) just fascinate him. He is so sweet to his sister. They sometimes giggle and play through nap-time and I often can't bring myself to put a stop to it. Nathan sings and dances and remembers so much. His mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything it sees.

Eva is learning how to show she understands what's going on around her. She'll mimic back several animal sounds if you do it first. Her horsey sound is a slobbery raspberry, she softly hisses like a snake, and her lion growl is so much fiercer than her petite frame belies. Eva crawls quickly and walks around the furniture. She loves taking hold of a finger from each of my hands and walking around the house. Eva will also speed-crawl into the kitchen when you aren't looking and forage for any food she may have dropped during meal time. Sometimes I think she drops the food on purpose so she can snack on it later. Eva loves to give open mouthed kisses and has 8 full teeth with two molars on the way, so you better believe those kisses are wet! My favorite is when she'll sneaky-kiss my face as I help her say her prayers at night. My eyes are closed and of a sudden slobbery lips are touching mine. Eva says "Ma-Ma" and "Da-da" and has started saying "hi!" especially when she sees herself in a mirror.

I've lived in a dark hole of anxiety and depression for so long, but since moving here my days are overwhelmingly bright and full. My mind and emotions aren't yet whole, but there is such a difference to the degree of depression. I feel more resilient, more able to become who I want to become. My home is staying cleaner than it's been, I'm finding time to pursue creativity through stitching, sewing, quilting, knitting. I feel more like me. Sometimes I dance in the grocery store just because I'm feeling bubbly. I'm sillier with my kids and have the emotional resources to imagine games with Nathaniel.

I don't know how to describe all the beauty in my life right now and this list is far from comprehensive. And too, not all is easy and perfect and good. The children scream. The dishes still pile (not to mention the clean and dirty laundry). I falter often and still have raw, fragile emotional times. But the predominant feeling is one of grateful wonderment at what a season of life this is.

I know it won't last. Some financial or physical or spiritual or mental or familial hardship will come. It has to, or I wouldn't grow into who I'm meant to. But I wanted to record this tranquil oasis in my life. I want to look back on it when the seas are rough again and be able to treasure that feeling and trust that the calm will someday reappear. It is a bliss I hope we all will have a chance to taste.

New Adventures

Back in January, Chris started looking for a full time teaching position. Last month, we finally found one! Quickly everything fell into place and we're now living in beautiful Boise, Idaho. We are near family and are making lots of new friends. Our ward has been particularly welcoming and we are loving it here.

Since it's been a few months since the last post, here's an overview of what we've been up to told in pictures.

March:

In March, we visited our friends the Smith's in the Bay Area

Nathan chasing after his friend, Jackson

Smiling with the view from the Oakland Temple behind us

Eva at the Oakland Temple

Chris and Nathan at Golden Gate Bridge

We also visited Chris's Great Aunt Kathy and
Great-Grandma while in California

Chris's Great-Grandma with Eva (So that's her Great-Great-Grandaughter)

There's a span of 5 generations in this photo

Aunt Kathy making Eva smile

Nathaniel turned two!

Bought a potted plant, Nathan liked watering it

April:

Aunt Abbie came and visited during her spring break

We went and stayed at my parent's house for General Conference/Easter

Easter Egg hunt in Grandma's basement

Grandma sword fighting with Nathan, she taught him to say "En garde!"
 which he pronounced, "On dard!"

Provo City outdoor event at Rock Canyon Park

Nathan got to ride a pony at the Provo City event

Eva's first time swimming

Chris's graduation!

I embroidered bacon and eggs on the inside panel of his robes

May:

Nathan and Grandma drinking chocolate milk

Eva playing with cousin Luke

Big smiles at Grandma Kimi's house

A new dress to match her big smile

Siblings. This picture melts my heart

June:

Our backyard! (well, at least one corner of it)

Our front porch--it wraps around!

Walking to the library (only a 20 minute walk)

Shopping with Grandma Kimi at Winco

Ward campout in Montour, ID

Daddy and the kiddos hanging out in the tent

Nathaniel is saying "cheese!"

Bathtime

Life is very sweet!

New Organ

My dad bought me a new gall bladder. See?

It's like a cuddly pillow!

I've been staying at my parents' with the two kiddos while Chris is back at home trying to survive his crazy week. He's got something like 10 concerts this week. Not to mention all the extra rehearsals and such that go with them. Keep him in your prayers, would you?

My recovery is going well. I've got some nice scars forming. They look pretty slick. And it's been a huge blessing to have help with the kids. Family is totally the best.

Eva's first Thanksgiving - Momma's first.... (pictures and a long story)

Yesterday was Eva's first Thanksgiving. She slept lots. See?

Daddy napping, too.

Me 'n the kids.

Eva met her Aunt Sydney for the first time yesterday. It was love at first sight (for both of them):

She's been smiling lots when she's awake. Here Eva's smiling at Grandpa:

We've been having a beautiful time here. And it was a lovely Thanksgiving.

Yesterday was also my first time ever at the ER (Yayy!!... or not really so yay ;). About 10:45-ish it started really hurting right below my rib cage. At first it was just uncomfortable, but in a matter of minutes it was really bad. I mean, right up there with being in labor kind of painful. I have never been in that much constant pain.

So Chris and Steve gave me a blessing and then Chris drove me to the ER just off of Eagle road. He sped to get me there, (even more than he sped to get me to the hospital when I was in labor with Eva or Nathan) and we checked in at the desk. I was trying not to hyperventilate but it was really hard to breathe normally with that pain and through the tears. After what seemed like forever (but was probably only a few minutes), we were taken back to a room and a nurse took my vitals, asked a few questions and said the doctor would be in soon (by the way, when the nurse asked me to rate my pain, I said nine).

A few minutes after the nurse left, the pain started to subside. Quite quickly actually. At that point I was thinking "well... I'm really glad that I'm not in hardly any pain now, but I'll feel really foolish if we came here and all it was was that the turkey and mashed potatoes didn't agree with me." Still, the doctor came in and decided we should do some blood work, a urine sample, and an ultrasound.

We did all three of those, and during the ultra sound, the technician seemed to identify the source of the problem, but since she's not the doctor, she didn't tell me what it was. She just asked if it hurt when she pushed a little on a specific organ and when I said yes, she nodded as if she knew what was going on.

After waiting around a while longer, the doctor came in and told me that I had gall stones in my gall bladder. She said her recommendation was that I be admitted to the hospital and they'd do surgery to remove my gall bladder some time during the day (it was probably about 1 am at that point). Thankfully, my mom had her gall bladder out a few years ago, so I was already a little bit familiar with the procedure.

Eventually we got moved upstairs to the surgical ward, I had awesome nurses who took such good care of me. And I even got to try out one of those hospital grade breastfeeding pumps. Whoa. That guy works fast. That's all I'm saying.

Chris stayed there the rest of the night and we both got a few hours sleep. At about 9:00 the next morning, the surgeon came to my room to explain the procedure and answer any questions. He said if all went well, I'd be able to go home sometime after lunch.

They wheeled me down to pre-op at a little after 10:00. The anesthesiologist came and explained a bit about the meds they'd be giving me and side effects and such. He was probably my favorite doctor there. We ended up chatting (he and Chris and I) about our kids and marriage and stuff for 5-10 minutes. It was really fun.

Soon after that, they gave me my meds, and I don't even remember falling asleep. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the recovery room and was really drowsy (and a bit dizzy). They wheeled me to where I could finish recovering for a little bit (just enough to be able to go to the bathroom and walk a little without aid) and Chris joined me there. We left the hospital at about 1:30 pm, and the rest of today I've just been taking it easy at Chris's parents' house.

This adventure totally wasn't in my plans for the weekend, but in spite of that, here are a few of the things I'm grateful about in this experience:

• Chris and Steve were able to give me a blessing, and God's timing meant that it was after we went to the ER that the pain went away. If God had timed the pain to go away right after they gave me a blessing, we probably wouldn't have gone to the hospital, and my disfunctional gall bladder would probably still be in me.
• We were here at Kim and Steve's so I didn't have to worry about Nathaniel and Eva being well taken care of. I knew they'd be safe, happy and loved with Grandma and Grandpa (and Aunt Izzy, too!)
• I'm still on Medicaid. If this had happened a few weeks from now, I wouldn't be, and it would have been a very expensive trip to Boise!
• I didn't have a gall bladder attack until after I ate turkey and mashed potatoes and rolls and pie. And I didn't throw up. That might have ruined Thanksgiving food for me. 
• My parents are just a phone call away and offered to let me and the kiddos stay with them next week once Chris has to start school again on Monday.
• So many people were praying for me. I feel incredibly loved. Even some people I hardly know. (like Selby!) Thank you for thinking of me and caring!
• The staff and doctors at St. Luke's were phenomenal. Everyone was so competent in their duties, and even more, they were friendly and talkative and supportive. I felt treated like a real person, and it seemed like everyone truly cared about me getting better.

When you add all those things together, I'd say that's evidence of a God who cares about me, and loves me more than I can know. Wouldn't you?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Birth 2.0

The three or so weeks leading up to Eva's birth were quite the mental/emotional struggle for me. Each week I felt like the contractions were "going up a notch" and getting us closer to the real thing, but because of how Nathaniel's labor/delivery went, I didn't really have a clue how many "notches" I still needed to go before we were at the real thing.

Enter Saturday, October 18th.

I'd had some uncomfortable contractions during the night, but by morning they had stopped being regular. One of the songs Chris wrote was being premiered up in Salt Lake that evening, and so his Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Tine came down for the premier. They took us out to lunch, took us shopping, and then drove us up to the concert in Salt Lake. I'd been having sporadic contractions throughout the day, but I wasn't timing them, and they weren't increasing in intensity.

During the concert I started realizing that the contractions were coming at a fairly consistent rate. We went out to eat afterwards and during dinner, the contractions were starting to get kind of painful. I was having a harder and harder time concealing them from everyone else (As a side note, I'm not exactly sure why I felt like I needed to conceal them, maybe I just didn't want anyone to fuss over me or worry about me? Whatever the reason, I just wanted to keep them to myself).

On the ride home (about a 45 min drive) I began timing them. Sure enough they were consistently coming 3-5 minutes apart and they were getting harder and harder to deal with.

As soon as we got home, I told Chris that I thought this was the real thing. I was fairly certain our little girl was on the way. So... now we had to figure out what to do with Nathaniel while we went to the hospital. A good friend told me we could bring him over to her house, but I couldn't get a hold of her. I tried calling my mother to let her know and see if she could start making the two-hour trek down to our house, but no one at home answered the phone (and no answer on any cell phones either).

Finally I tried my brother and asked if he could maybe just hang out on our couch until we got a hold of someone who could take his place (he had a one-month-old baby at the time and also worked early morning custodial). He answered his phone and was able to come over.

During all this, the contractions were getting hard. I was sitting on our exercise ball trying to do anything that felt like it helped me cope with the pain of each contraction. I also began singing during them. Each made-up song went something like ,"Oh maaaan, this is reeeeeaaally uncomfortable right nooow! I really really wiiiish that this contraction would end! I really really hope that this is the reeeeall thing because if it's not, then I don't want to know what the reaaaaal thing feeeeeeels like!! etc. etc. etc."

Hey, you do what you gotta do, right?

Once Stephen was on his way, I had the idea to try calling my aunt who lives kiddy-corner from my parents to just see if she knew where they might be, or if they were home. She answered and said she'd go over and knock on their door to let my mom know I was in labor.

Stephen arrived, I grabbed my hospital bag, and Chris and I drove over to the hospital. On the way over there (about a 5 min drive) my mom called. Yay! She sounded super apologetic. She said that they'd all been watching The Two Towers downstairs in the basement and didn't hear the phone ring. They were at the battle of Helm's Deep and it was really intense when they finally heard pounding on the door from my aunt.

Very appropriate I thought, that while my family was watching the orcs' chant of war, I was facing my own intense battle and chanting/singing to get through it.

We filled my mom in on what was happening and said we'd call her as soon as we knew for sure that I was staying at the hospital.

We checked in at a little after 10:00pm and were shown to a room. The nurses came in a little while later and checked me. Melanie, who did the checking said, "Oh, yeah you are totally having this baby. You are at like a seven!" Whhhaaa? a seven!? I had nooo idea that's what a seven felt like! I felt kind of proud of myself, but the first thing I asked was, "Is that too late for an epidural?" "Nope," Melanie replied, "but we gotta step on it".

Quickly the nurses got the anesthesiologist who gave me a very big dose of epidural stuff. I don't know how far along I was by the time it took effect, but I think I was further than a seven by that point (my contraction-coping songs and noises were getting stranger and stranger by that point, but thankfully no one commented :). They also called my doctor, and did all the other things like hooking up monitors, asking me questions about my health, etc.

My water broke a little while after the epidural really started kicking in, and I could feel as our little girl descended the rest of the way down into pushing position.

By midnight, we were at pushing time. My doctor had arrived a couple of minutes earlier and we started pushing. I was asked if I wanted a mirror to which I tried to politely but firmly say "no." My doctor, the two nurses and Chris all cheered me on with every push. Once she started crowning, my doctor exclaimed, "She has so much hair!" (woohoo! I thought. I'd certainly had enough heartburn for her to have a lot of hair.) She really was ready to come by then. Nathan took over two hours of pushing before he came out. With our little girl, I pushed for about 20 minutes. She emerged all beautiful and blue and squirmy and as soon as she was cleaned off and weighed and stuff, I got to hold her and nurse her.

Our Eva Magdalena Machado was born at 12:21am, October 19, 2014. She was 20 inches long and weighed 8lbs 8oz.

Eva and I spent the normal two-days in the hospital and have both recovered well. She's even more mellow than her older brother, and I thought he was an easy newborn. Nathaniel loves his little sister and calls her, "Uh-va."

We're happily adjusting to life as a family of four. There are some challenging times, but there are also lots of beautiful moments each day.

1-year-old joy

It just might be impossible to go through a day without smiling and laughing at least once. 1-year-olds just have that effect on people.

• Yesterday Nathan started pretend growling, and he thinks it's hilarious (so do his parents).
• Today he learned how to say "uh-oh," even though he doesn't yet know what it means. 
• He says thanks all the time. It usually sounds like "daints!" 
• He often goes and grabs a book from his room or off the floor, holds it out to me and says, "uh?" How could I not read it to him?

He smiles so easily.
He laughs so quickly.
There is so much genuine joy in that little boy.

Chris and I will regularly turn to each other and ask how such an awesome little boy came to be in our home. The answer is God sent the us the soul that He knew would be perfect for our family, but I still can't get over how joyful Nathan makes our home.

Adventures with a spoon

3 Mo.

My two favorite boys on the planet:

"Dad, it's really hot out here."

That lil' guy turned 3 months old yesterday. (Can you say time flies?) 

Nathaniel lately

This boy is full of awesomeness. He makes us laugh every day. Mostly because he has this great smile.

He's also found out where his hands are. He holds his hands in front of him like this (and usually interlocks his fingers):

He's starting to get more interactive. He'll smile when you play peek-a-boo with a blanket and pull it off his face. He also loves it when his daddy holds him high in the air and then pretends that he's going to eat his face as he slowly lowers Nathaniel down towards him. Nathaniel smiles huge and blinks his eyes more and more the closer he gets to Chris's face. 

We like to watch him when he sleeps. He's just so peaceful. 

He's a really good sleeper, for which we can take virtually no credit. He came as a good sleeper, we just tried to stay out of his way.

Lately, I've been playing this Mendelssohn violin concerto for him, and I'll move his arms and legs to the music. The whole movement is about 6 minutes long, but he smiles and wiggles through the whole thing. I'm amazed that he has that kind of attention span.

Basically, I'm in love with being a mom. It's hard of course, but it fulfills me in ways that being a student or having a job never have. I honestly didn't think I would enjoy being a mom at this stage of his life, or at least that those moments of satisfaction would be few and far between. I thought that it'd be only when I looked back that I'd be able to say, "Oh that was such a wonderful time of life!" I thought that in the moment I'd pretty much only feel worn out and tired.

It's remarkable to me how much I am filled when I take care of and play with this sweet kid. Almost every day comes this simple (but strong) joy and peace from being Nathaniel's mom. I know those feelings are a gift from God, my Heavenly Father, and I thank Him for sending such an incredible boy to our home. He knew exactly what child would be perfect for us. 

Is it any wonder that we just can't get enough of this little guy?

Nathaniel's birth

Here's the story of Nathaniel's birth. It was an incredible experience, and one that I will treasure in my memory forever. This version has lots of details, so it's kind of long, but I tried to limit the gory details. Even so, everyone's squeamish about different things, so... be warned. It is a labor and delivery story after all.

Thursday night (March 28th, 5 days after baby's due date), my water broke. Except, I didn’t know that it broke, or rather, I knew something happened, but I couldn’t tell if it was my water breaking, or if I had lost my mucus plug, or if it was just that I had suddenly lost the ability to hold it when I needed to potty. It was such a slow leak that only happened every couple of hours. By Friday evening, I was starting to wonder if it really was my water broken because it hadn’t stopped (so it wouldn’t have been my mucus plug) and it didn’t have the scent of urine. But I wasn’t having any more contractions than I had been (just a few here and there that weren’t very hard), so we decided to hold off going to the hospital until after Chris’s choir concert. The concert was beautiful. My mom and Chris’s whole family got to attend with me, and afterwards all of us went and got frozen custard at Coney’s.

On the way home, we told my mom that we felt like we should go get me checked out and see if my water really had broken, so we dropped her off, grabbed my hospital bag and drove over to Utah Valley Regional Medical Center. They checked me in, and put us in a room. The nurse did a ph strip kind of test on the fluid and sure enough, it was amniotic fluid. We were staying. Because my body hadn’t gone into labor really at all, we decided to start me on pitocin right away, and see where that got us. Also, because it had been about 24 hours since my water broke, they started me on anti-infection stuff as well. So just after midnight on March 30, baby was officially on his way.

Contractions started coming fairly consistently, but they started out quite mild. I felt like I was able to relax and let my body work with the contraction instead of tense up and fight against it. Chris and I didn’t have much to do but wait. Every once in a while, nurses came in and checked on us. Our main nurse that night was a gal named Hillary, and I loved her. She was so personable, and really competent. Sometimes the way people take care of you can feel a little condescending, but she was remarkable at putting me at ease and even laughed at some of Chris’s jokes and mine.

There was a couch in the room next to the bed that folded down into a bed. That’s where Chris slept that night. Neither of us slept a ton, but we did each get a little sleep during the night.

Sometime between 3 and 4 in the morning, the contractions started to get a lot harder to deal with. I was really struggling to relax during them, and definitely wanted something to help with the pain. (I decided before going in to the hospital that I was planning on an epidural) My doctor wanted me to be to a 3 or 4 before I got an epidural, and I was only at like a 2. But the nurse said I could have something in my IV that could help take the edge off the pain. I thought that sounded like a great idea, so my IV tree got another bag (I think at one time I had 5 different bags dripping into my arm). The drugs really helped, and even though they made me dizzy, I was able to sleep again.

By 6 a.m. I got checked again and had dilated to a 3. The nurse called my doctor and then the anesthesiologist who came and gave me my epidural. He was this older man from some Middle Eastern country (I think, judging by his accent and name). A fantastic anesthesiologist who obviously had been giving epidurals for so long that I’m pretty sure he could have done the whole thing in his sleep. He was really nice and really efficient. Fairly soon, I lost all feeling and control in my left leg and almost all feeling in my right. The nurse put my catheter in, and once again, I was able to sleep.

On and off throughout the morning, nurses came and checked on us, took my temperature, helped me switch the side I was laying on, checked how dilated I was, etc. etc. Mostly, I just slept. I’d wake up here and there for a little while, but thanks to that blessed epidural, pain was fairly minimal and I got some much needed rest. Chris was there with me almost the entire time. He left to go home (a five minute drive) and grab things or to change his clothes I think two times, and sometimes he’d go out into the waiting room and update my mother and his parents and sisters about how things were going, but overall, he was just constantly by my side, willing to do anything he could to help, especially by getting flavored ice chips for me to suck on. He was my rock: constant, steady, and loving.

Partway through that morning we got kind of discouraged because it had been several hours since I had been checked and when they did check me again, I was still at a three. I thought, “oh no. c-section, here we come” but about two hours later I started progressing again. I think I was up to a 4. Then I progressed quite rapidly to a 6+ , then fairly quickly all the way to a 9+ and by 1:30 I was fully dilated and effaced.

My doctor (who amazingly was in and out most of the day checking on me. I thought this was awesome, and she probably couldn’t have done it all the time, but I guess because it was a Saturday, she had time) recommended that they let me “rest and descend” for an hour before we started pushing. I was still blissfully in epidural land, and so didn’t feel in any rush. Also, though baby had descended to a measurable stage (I think he was at -1 at that point) we were hoping he would drop a little more before we started pushing. At 2:45, my nurse and her capstone student (Shea and Heather respectively) came in and told me that the other patient they were helping was also ready to push, and would I mind waiting just a bit longer (this was apparently that other lady’s 6th child so they thought that pushing would be rather short, which it was. They said she pushed like one and a half times and the baby was out). I had spent almost all of the previous hour sleeping, and didn’t at all mind sleeping some more, so I said that’d be just fine.

Finally at 3:40, a nurse named Jennifer came in and said that since Heather and Shea were still finishing up with the other patient, she was going to help me start pushing until they got there.

She told me the basics of pushing, and at the next available contraction, we got going. Thus began the approximately 2 hours of pushing. An hour in (so about a quarter to 5:00) Shea and Heather came in and relieved Jennifer. All three of these nurses and Chris were really good at being encouraging and saying things like “Good, Sarah, another one just like that!” or “You’ve got it, you’ve got it, keep going!” etc. I was amazed at how much power and strength their simple words gave me to keep going. I could rest in between contractions, and nothing really hurt very much, but it was still a workout. Their words helped me find the willpower to keep at it. Chris also kept me going by feeding me ice chips in between contractions and by occasionally grabbing my hand or firmly patting my leg as if to say “you’re doing fantastic. keep going, and I love you.” Like I said, he was my rock. Not squeamish at all, just steady and sure.

A few times I wondered if all the verbal encouragement everyone was giving me was just a farce to keep my spirits up or if we were actually progressing, but it turns out that we were progressing, it was just a slow and steady progression. At about 5:30 it looked like he was getting really close, (I think that’s when Dr. Burnett went and changed into her scrubs.) and that he’d be born before Shea and Heather’s shift ended at 6:00. Shea asked me what drink I wanted to have once the baby was born (I chose apple juice) and she went off to get it. She came back in with a big cup of apple juice and a boxed meal with an apple, cookies and a turkey croissant sandwich. She said it was incentive for me because I could eat and drink once baby was here, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit how much the sight and thought of food was what helped me find the last reserves to finish those final pushes.

Nathaniel Dean Machado was born at 5:42. When I heard that first cry, I just had this rush of relief and joy sweep over me. I pretty much just sat and cried while they weighed him, looked over him, measured him, etc. (a NICU team was there to check him out because I had a fever during the day and because the amniotic fluid had had some meconium in it). Chris took pictures and then before I knew it, they had placed my beautiful little boy on my chest and I got to hold him for the first time. It was pretty amazing. Dr. stitched me up and then things quieted down fairly quickly.

I got to nurse Nathaniel right there, and he latched on really well. Also while we were there, and after things quieted down we decided on his name. There had been two front runners (the other one we're keeping to ourselves in case we want to use it for another child), and we went with Nathaniel Dean Machado. Born on March 30, 2013 at 5:42 pm. Nathaniel weighed 8 lbs 3 oz, and was 20 inches long.

If you're still reading at this point, you either just love me a lot, or you really like hearing labor and delivery stories. Regardless, thanks for taking the time to read our story. Like I said, it was an incredible experience and one that I want to remember forever. I also found that when I was pregnant, I wanted to learn as much as I could about labor and delivery, so maybe this story will help some gal who feels the same, and she can read in lots of detail one version of childbirth.

I'm recovering well, and our little Nathaniel is such a sweet boy. He loves music, and whenever you sing to him while he's awake he'll get really still and turn and look at whoever is singing to him. Its adorable. We love him lots and are sooo glad he's here.

Lastly, as a bonus, here's another picture of our cute little guy with his momma. 

Mom and Dad sure love you, Nathaniel!
It's like he's saying, "Aww, Mom! Do you have to do that on camera?"
Yes. Yes, I do.

 

Green food for St. Patty's

Yesterday, Chris woke up with his cold being worse, and decided to just go to Sacrament meeting. He came home afterward to get some rest while I stayed and taught the music in Primary. When I got home, Chris had surprised me with lunch, where pretty much everything was green! We had green biscuits, green eggs, green hash browns, and green milk. Super yummy, and very festive. He's the best.

Also, want to know what true love is? Painting your wife's toenails when she's 9 months pregnant. They're super cool looking too. See?

(btw, it's not easy to take a picture of your feet with
your laptop when you're 9 months pregnant)

Lastly, Saturday afternoon/evening was quite the adventure. I had 9 1/2 hours of Braxton Hicks that were only mildly painful, but almost all 2-5 minutes apart. They didn't go away despite drinking water and laying down, or walking around, but they didn't get more intense either. We figured I was in the early stages of labor, or my body was just getting a lot of practice. Turns out it was the latter. Little guy's still in there, and looks like I'll keep my doctor's appointment today.