Impenetrable Fortress of Iron

I read this blog post and looked closer at the scripture she describes. It's in Jeremiah, chapter 1, verse 18:

"...I have made thee this day a defenced city, and an iron pillar, and brasen walls against the whole land..."

I had to look up "defenced". It turns out it's the past participle of the verb "defence." Not the noun, mind you, the verb. "To defence" means to fortify, to furnish with defenses. So if I understand correctly, God is telling Jeremiah that He has made him into the equivalent of an impenetrable (brasen) fortress (defenced city) complete with iron fortifications. Pretty strong stuff.

Then in the next verse:

"And they shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee; for I am with thee, saith the LORD, to deliver thee."

I have to remind myself that God has also covenanted with me. I covenanted to always remember Him and keep His commandments when I was baptized, and I renew that covenant by partaking of the sacramental bread and water each Sunday at church. God promised me that I would always have His Spirit to be with me. In essence, that He would be with me.

I can't give in to my weaknesses and failings. I've been made into sterner stuff: a walled fortress that cannot be penetrated.

Baby signing

About 2.5 months ago, I checked out a book on baby sign language for Eva. She was screaming all the time. As in, if you sat her down on the floor she'd let out a really loud scream and then play for a minute happily as if nothing had happened, and then scream again, and then play some more. She'd scream in the car if she felt she'd been in there too long, or if the light was red for longer than she wanted. It was really not our favorite phase. Ignoring the screams helped, and so did some other things we tried, but I just felt like my girl needed an extra way to communicate... especially in a way that wasn't so grating on our nerves!

So, with a little bit of knowledge and an eye towards the long term, I began teaching her to sign "more".

And today, after many weeks, she started signing it. I'm so excited! She's starting to grasp the concept! And it makes my heart so happy!

Take a look:

Sharing suckers

When I was a kid I would have thought this was so gross.

Bind up

Do you ever see the turmoil in another's soul and yearn to make it all better? I see fellow women, sisters, brothers, and men, friends and family, hurting and aching. Perceived and real injustices. Tragic health challenges. Selfishness. Thoughtlessness. Heartache.

When my little nine-month-old is sad, it's relatively easy for me to help make it better. She usually needs a hug and attention. Sometimes she just needs to be held or fed. Kisses and smooches go a long way to helping her feel at peace again.

With older humans, it seems not so simple.

I want to bind up the broken hearted. I want to proclaim liberty to the captive. I want to give praise for heaviness, beauty for ashes.

But I in my limited mortal mind haven't the foggiest idea of what to do.

Thankfully and joyfully, I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that He suffered and died that He might know perfectly how to do all of those things: bind up, proclaim, and give. And because I believe those things, I also believe that He expects me to do what I can to aid Him in this work. And like the prophet Nephi, "I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

I am but a fallen mortal, who can do nothing of myself, but I wish to try. Do you want to try with me?

New Adventures

Back in January, Chris started looking for a full time teaching position. Last month, we finally found one! Quickly everything fell into place and we're now living in beautiful Boise, Idaho. We are near family and are making lots of new friends. Our ward has been particularly welcoming and we are loving it here.

Since it's been a few months since the last post, here's an overview of what we've been up to told in pictures.

March:

In March, we visited our friends the Smith's in the Bay Area

Nathan chasing after his friend, Jackson

Smiling with the view from the Oakland Temple behind us

Eva at the Oakland Temple

Chris and Nathan at Golden Gate Bridge

We also visited Chris's Great Aunt Kathy and
Great-Grandma while in California

Chris's Great-Grandma with Eva (So that's her Great-Great-Grandaughter)

There's a span of 5 generations in this photo

Aunt Kathy making Eva smile

Nathaniel turned two!

Bought a potted plant, Nathan liked watering it

April:

Aunt Abbie came and visited during her spring break

We went and stayed at my parent's house for General Conference/Easter

Easter Egg hunt in Grandma's basement

Grandma sword fighting with Nathan, she taught him to say "En garde!"
 which he pronounced, "On dard!"

Provo City outdoor event at Rock Canyon Park

Nathan got to ride a pony at the Provo City event

Eva's first time swimming

Chris's graduation!

I embroidered bacon and eggs on the inside panel of his robes

May:

Nathan and Grandma drinking chocolate milk

Eva playing with cousin Luke

Big smiles at Grandma Kimi's house

A new dress to match her big smile

Siblings. This picture melts my heart

June:

Our backyard! (well, at least one corner of it)

Our front porch--it wraps around!

Walking to the library (only a 20 minute walk)

Shopping with Grandma Kimi at Winco

Ward campout in Montour, ID

Daddy and the kiddos hanging out in the tent

Nathaniel is saying "cheese!"

Bathtime

Life is very sweet!

Joy of Motherhood

Ok. So it's been my experience that lots of people talk about how hard being a parent is. There are lots of well-meaning warnings about less sleep, long hours, challenges, emotional struggles, etc. And it's also been my experience that these things are certainly part of being a parent.

But it's not the only part.

I've talked to moms who seemed hesitant to describe the joyful things of parenthood and I myself have felt that reluctance. I think it's because I'm worried about making other moms feel bad if they aren't having a jolly good time. Most women are hard enough on themselves without anyone else's help thank you very much. But I just feel even more strongly that there's just not enough talk about the joy of parenthood. And to you, mother or father who isn't having fun and it's just feeling hard. That's. totally. ok.

And right here and now. I'm going to share some of the joy I get from being a mom.

• Sometimes I pick up Nathan from nursery at church. His whole face lights up and he runs over to me shouting, "Mommy!" This boy loves nursery, but he loves his mommy more.
• Eva smiles at me and Chris like we are the coolest things she's ever seen. Yesterday she giggled at me just because I looked at her.
• Nathaniel brings me books to read to him many times a day. He always laughs his "sheep/goat" laugh when he can tell I'm going to stop doing whatever it was I was doing and read to him.
• The other day I was clacking a toy together and Nathaniel did this darling little dance where he grabbed his hands in front of him, and he twisted his torso back and forth while bobbing up and down. "I'n danseen!" he said with a huge grin on his face.
• Eva talks to me and tells me everything. It comes out as grunts and snorts and coos, and she always looks so grateful that someone is listening and talking back.
• Sometimes Nathan falls down or gets hurt. He comes running over, looks at me with those big beautiful eyes and asks sadly, "a better?" Of course, I kiss it better. How could I not?
• Nathaniel wants to communicate. When I don't understand what he's saying, he keeps trying and sometimes will describe what he wants in a different way so I can understand. I'm amazed at his patience with me as I struggle to get it.
• Eva has this little vibrating rocking chair thing. Nathan likes to pile toys on her while she's sitting in it. More than once I've looked over to see her half covered by teddies, car-cars, and toy tools.

Everything worthwhile has its ups and downs. We keep at it though because we feel like we're doing something meaningful. Being a mom is the most meaningful thing I've done in my whole life. So you know? I think I'll just keep on doing it.

Melt my heart with cuteness

I was eating cookie dough today, and Nathaniel came over and said, "Cookies!" Of course I shared some with him (how can you not?).

A few minutes later, he comes running over to me with a buttered roll that Daddy gave him exclaiming, "Butter!!" and he held it up to my mouth for me to eat. 

My heart is melting with cuteness. My boy wanted to share something he loves with me. "Mommy" is totally my favorite job.