Friday, September 5, 2014


Today is a bit of a gloomy day. I don't quite know how to explain it. I don't feel constant gloom. It's just interwoven between everything. I have these happy moments with Nathan, or a conversation with Chris and I feel happy. Then a few minutes later the gloom-ishness comes back.

I'm sharing this on the blog, not because I want pity, or because I'm in despair. I just wanted to share because I'm trying to not numb my feelings. I'm trying to work through them and along side them. We came to this earth to have the good and the bad, the happy and the painful. Even though the gloom is uncomfortable, I think I'm supposed to feel it, not try to block it out.

And you know, when I acknowledge that I'm feeling down, for some reason it helps me feel more like digging deep and pulling through. When I hide or try to suppress my emotions, they just end up building like a pressure cooker until I melt down. It's like I have to face the feelings at some point, and I think it's a lot healthier for me to face them as they come, rather than stuff them under the rug until they're bulging out and then I have to deal with all of them at the same time.

What do you think? What helps you when you're feeling the gloom-ishness (from depression or from anything else)?


  1. I'm feeling exactly the same way today. So I canceled all my piano lessons, asked Artene's sister to babysit, and we're going to the temple when he gets home from work. I can't seem to find the quiet time I need here at home with my three crazy kids, and quiet time is something I really need to find my center.

  2. Ever since I became a mom and stay at home a lot now and the miscarriage and hormones and post partum. I feel the same way! Chase has fresh eyes and always tells me to recognize what comes from god and what satan wants me to dwell on and spiral out of control about! I love your words and I can relate and I love your healthy dealings! You are in my prayers as well! Let's hope adjusting to baby number two is smoother too!

  3. First off, I love you lots!! You are such and example and it helps other people too when you share your thoughts like these. I agree that talking through things helps me. If I can get the thoughts out of my head they seem to be less daunting when I say them out loud. Thank you for sharing and being you!!

  4. I agree it is good to express how you feel. And that helps to not be numb. Numb is worse than sad. For me that's what depression is -- feeling numb and like you're not sure what matters...One thing I have learned is that when I'm having a gloomy day is to not make any major decisions or major judgements on myself. Just let the gloom pass over. And embrace the re-set moments that come. You are awesome!