Monday, October 1, 2012

On math and heartbeats and love

Some simple math:

nausea + throwing up + tiredness = sick

But for about 10 weeks...

nausea + throwing up + tiredness = baby

Yep. That's right. Many of you have already heard the news, but incase you haven't, Chris and I are expecting.  At first, I was just so happy to be nauseous and going to the bathroom constantly because every time it reminded me, "I'm pregnant! Woohoo!" But after awhile, that excitement faded. (because, well... I was tired, and going to the bathroom is only so fun, you know?) and even though I knew that the pregnancy thing was still there, it just seemed unreal. Sure, I didn't feel great, but always in the past that meant I was coming down with something. Now I had to rewire my brain to remember that, "nausea + throwing up + tiredness = baby". 

Enter my doctor's appointment a week and a half a go.

Never have I ever encountered this equation before:

nausea + throwing up + tiredness + heartbeat coming from my abdomen! = baby

Okay, here was something my brain could handle. Never have I had a heartbeat coming from my abdomen!!! And never have I ever been pregnant before!!!! So much easier for my brain to connect those two things!

On top of that, it was soooo good to hear that little one's heartbeat. I think as an expectant mother, you can't help but fear the worst. "What if the doctor can't find a heartbeat? what if the heartbeat is irregular? or too slow? or too fast? etc. etc. etc." But from all we can tell so far, baby is doing great. Baby's heartbeat was normal, not too fast or too slow. Baby is moving around in there and we heard lots of squirming. Oh, it does a momma's heart good to hear her baby!

It has been surprising to me how deeply my love for this little one will occasionally wash over me. It has hit me when I'm playing primary songs on our piano. I've felt it at church. It's hit me when I'm just sitting on the couch at home. I can't really explain why. It's just happened. And it feels so good.

Little One? We haven't met yet, but Momma sure does love you!


  1. Crying :-) I have another way to add this up, which works for me, Steve, Lisa, and Dean:Sarah + Chris + Baby=Granparents. My new favorite equation!

  2. I remember that first time I heard Owen's heartbeat... I was crying and laughing so hard... And when I laughed you could see him bouncing like he was on a trampoline lol. I'm so excited for you, dear cousin!

  3. I loved everything about this post!! Except of course the you being sick part!! Sure excited for you and your new addition to your cute family! Love you guys!

  4. Aww! My girl, all growed up and becoming a Mommy! Makes my heart to happy, it leaks out of my eyes!

    (and I'm with Kim about the Grandparent thing! CANNOT wait!!!

  5. Okay, I meant: Makes my heart SO happy!

  6. Isn't it great?! You should talk with your doctor about taking Unisom and Vitamin B6. Several women I know have had constant, debilitating nausea and that was the only thing that helped them. Also, if you're looking for a doula and/or childbirth classes, I'm here for ya! ;)

  7. Thanks for all the love everyone! As a side note, I should have added that the nausea and throwing up were actually very mild, and have virtually disappeared in the last couple weeks. But that added to the "unreal" feeling I had because I was only kind of sick, so I only kinda felt pregnant.
    I still get to go to the bathroom all the time which is rather new for me. I've always been an iron bladder kind of gal, and I just can't get used to having to go so many times during the day, and even at night? what is that all about? Never had to do that before. :)